Dating with Discernment

Dating has been interesting in this season of my life. There have been conversations, dates, moments of excitement, moments of disappointment, and yes, moments where someone has jokingly asked me, “So... why are you single?” And honestly, the answer is simple: I’m picky. Not because I think I’m perfect or because I believe no one is good enough, but because I’ve become more intentional. I date with purpose.

As I’ve grown deeper in my faith, I’ve realized that dating is less about finding someone who checks boxes and more about discernment. It’s asking harder questions. Do our values align? Is this person consistent? Are they showing me who they truly are across seasons and not just in moments? I previously wrote about wanting someone to “show me their ugly” because love isn’t built on perfect moments. It’s built on honesty, character, patience, and seeing who someone is when life isn’t easy.

I desire marriage. I desire children. I desire the beautiful things that many of us pray for and yes, I’d love the husband, the family, and the dog too. But I’m also learning that I have to surrender those desires. While I believe God places desires on our hearts, I also believe His plan is greater than anything I could force. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t feel disappointed if life looked different than what I imagined. It simply means I trust Him enough to know that whatever He has for me will be good.

So yes, I date intentionally. I’m selective. I pay attention. Because if someone isn’t being led by God, how could they lead a future family? And if I’m building a life with someone, I want to know we’re building on something stronger than chemistry. Dating with discernment means understanding that sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it’s no, and sometimes it’s simply not yet. While waiting isn’t always easy, I’m learning that contentment and desire can exist at the same time.

I’m trusting God more than I’m trusting timelines.