Sunday Reflection: Jealousy

But if in your heart you are jealous, bitter, and selfish, don't sin against the truth by boasting of your wisdom.- James 3:14

Peace of mind makes the body healthy, but jealousy is like a cancer. - Proverbs 14:30

I’ve encountered jealousy aimed at me in various ways, whether it be materialistic, or my appearance, etc. One way which stuck with me most is I remember in high school certain girls would tell me they wish they were light skinned, even people I was friends with would say the same thing, and that followed through to college. It was people who I thought were friends that would stop talking to me for no reason or just start act different towards me. I use to think I did something wrong and I would want to fix it, especially if they were my friends. I would ask what the issue was and never get a straight answer… and why? It’s because I didn’t do anything.

The lesson I learned was there are people who are secretly jealous of you. No matter how kind or genuine you may be, if someone can’t handle the fact that you look a certain way or have something they wish they had, they won’t like you for it. Sometimes you won’t even know someone is jealous of you, until they see you winning at life. They won’t support your dreams and will wait until you are at a low point to feed you more bad energy.

Also there are men/women who are in a relationship that are jealous of their significant other. They may be jealous because their partner is doing better career wise or their partner is just getting more attention. This can also breed insecurities in your partner. For some men who date women who are about their business and making power moves, they can sometimes feel defeated. This may cause them to seek a woman who is less accomplished or driven than the women they are already with. If a woman sees a man getting a lot of attention and she doesn’t get the same, she may do extra just to get that attention.

I’ve been there when things are going great for me and my ex would just be giving me bad energy while I’m at my highest. I couldn’t even share good news because I knew it wouldn’t be received positively. I had to realize my significant other could be jealous too. I keep my eyes open and guard up for those who only want what I have or feel like they are in competition with me. I make sure to only surround myself with confident positive women who can lift me up and whom I can lift up in return.