Sunday Reflection: Closed Off

Usually, I start my Sunday Reflection with a verse from the bible. This time I will start with something that’s been on my mind. I was recently speaking to one of my friends of why I’ve been closed off. The reason I am closed off is to protect myself. Putting my guard up puts me in a state of comfort. I know that is not the ideal way to be, because when you are closed off it means you are closing yourself off to things that could be beneficial. It puts you on the defense instead of the offense. But for now I am closed off for the mere fact I just don’t want to be vulnerable. I don’t want to give someone that time, energy, love and basically a piece of my heart to then not receive the same back in return. I’m not open to being hurt. I know from past relationships I’ve been hurt and know that right now I just need “me” time. Everyone needs that “me” time, it truly helps you see where your're at in life and look back on what you learned from that someone to move on to better. I choose to proctect my heart and mind so I can grow within myself. Knowing what I need now is very different from what I wanted or was looking for. Let’s say someone great comes along. I don’t want to be in the same broken state I want to be better. If I don’t wait until I’m ready and choose to let them in I could be the one to make it go sour. So for now I am closed off. I would like to become a better me , so that when I do choose to open up I can be not only honest with that special someone but with myself. But I will say I am fully open to God. “For I know the plans I have for you; declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ⁃ Jeremiah 29:11