Vulnerable

Being vulnerable is being strong. To open up and show what you come with isn’t easy; it’s like sharing a part of you with someone else. In any relationship (friendship or romantic) it’s important to open up. By opening up you allow a person to see the parts of you that need to be nurtured and also flaws that need to be worked on. I get you don’t want someone to have a certain hold on you because you’ve let them in BUT you can’t build on a deeper connection if you’re not vulnerable. I’ve learned that letting my guard down helped me connect more with people in my circle. I use to keep a lot of shit to myself based off of past relationships and bad friendships. Which in the end resulted in me not putting anything past anybody. I mean I still feel like people shouldn’t but there are good people who do have good intentions. Those who have felt the way I did just didn’t want people to take advantage.

This past month I felt myself really open up because I was in a vulnerable state and could NOT get out of it. I lost my grandmother and one of my closest friends within a week of each other. It’s been hard trying to cope with both losses because I just want them to be here with me. It’s like you feel like you’ve been brought to your knees and there’s nothing that can lift you up. Life got real and I didn’t know how to handle it. Being around family and friends while basically breaking down inside was warming. As well as being surrounded by the same people who lost the same friend was comforting, because they know how I feel. All of us having each other to lean on during this time has been therapeutic. I do miss my grandma so much and wish I could have hugged her one last time. But God had other plans and she is now at peace with him. What always helps me is knowing that my grandma who was like a second mother to me is up there with my friend Kiarr.

September was a horrible month. It was a month that broke down my walls and opened me up to not being so closed off. The loved ones I lost were always open to letting people in and not being afraid of what the outcome might be. They just lived, which is why I must do the same. It’s okay to want to be closed off when you don’t feel like your going to be heard but instead judged. But its also okay to be vulnerable and let people in and to know how you feel so you can lean on them or lean on each other. Some people need to feel like you’re being vulnerable and letting them in so they can feel comfortable to do the same.

Sleep In Paradise Grandma & Kiarr 🕊