Selfish Love

In relationships we sometimes tend to forget that we need to listen to each other. By this I mean when we are having problems with our significant other or friends/family and someone’s says what is bothering them, we should listen and not think what they are saying isn’t important. In my last relationship that was a big issue, I would say what was bothering me or hurting my feelings and my ex didn’t care enough to stop and listen. I felt what I said didn’t matter and he didn’t care.

When someone is telling you something is bothering them, why not stop and listen? Or if they tell you something you are doing is hurtful, why not stop doing that hurtful thing? If you don’t stop to listen it means you don’t care about their feelings and only about yourself, and what YOU think is right. I feel that is a selfish love because you want them to listen to your needs and wants, but once they tell you what's wrong, you make up excuses or say why they shouldn’t feel this way or that way. It’s wrong to validate your own opinion and when you’re not the one that is hurt. When a person tells you what is bothering them, fix it. Don’t get mad because they are telling you how they feel and you don’t agree. It’s like saying someone’s opinion doesn’t matter. Someone once told me “ Do you want to be right or make things work”? If you just want to be right, then by all means leave and if you want to make things work, then listen and try to understand. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to disagree or to feel that a person shouldn’t feel a way especially if they are overthinking. But pay attention to what the root of the problem is and make adjustments. Don’t ignore them because you think they’re wrong.